Faith! ... Food ... Fertility

Faith
We have been SNOWED in for the last few days and I am sure we will be here a few more. I have really enjoyed this time at home because I have been able to spend more time reading my Bible. Since I have more time on my hands, being at home ALL day, I have made listening and reading my priority. I will admit that talking less (praying/dumping on God) is challenging, but I just gain so much more from listening and reading. I love to do this during the morning because I seem to be able to apply what is on my heart more throughout the day. I feel like I have been Singing Praises to the Lord so much during the days. I am also reading What Southern Women Know About Faith by Ronda Rich. There are a few of us reading it before our winter retreat. Our retreat is at the end of the month and it is going to be AMAZING. I can just feel it already. I know I have plenty of things I could be doing around the house and for work...too bad! I am enjoying my time with the Lord.

Food
I recently started the 17 day diet. I have not done so wonderful. Okay, I have been horrible. Two of my sweet friends from work are doing it also and I know they have been better at it than me. I have a hard time being told what and when to eat. I have done Weight Watchers and have used LiveStrong.org in the past and I did super with both of them, but I am having such a hard time with this diet. I know part of the problem is being stuck inside. Honestly, I am not sure where my motivation has gone. I know I need to lose the weight, but I have nothing to work towards. I need to come up with some rewards or goals or something!

Fertility
Our journey has taken a few turns. We began the IVF process in June and the actual IVF cycle in November. We didn’t even make it to the egg retrieval when the process had already failed. The doctors did not prescribe me the correct amount of medication; therefore, my follicles did not mature like they were supposed to. Needless to say we were very disappointed and discouraged. The doctors strongly encouraged and persuaded us to complete the cycle with IUI since we had used the stimulation medication (with the other IUI’s we had not used the injections) and had at least 5-8 mature follicles it would be worth the shot. It too failed. This was another deflation of hope. I know this is all part of God’s will, but it is very challenging for us. Please pray that we are able to hear God regarding what to do next. This is another reason why I like to just listen. Sometimes I get this sweet feeling of hope that says “Remember I can perform miracles…just trust in me.” Along this journey we have received incredibly encouraging cards from some dear friends and our family. I read them often to remind me of God’s love and His strength. Thanks for your kindness!

Continuing to Pray and Have Hope

Our struggle with fertility always leads me to God's Word. I love reading and just listening. On Sunday morning my sweet husband slept quietly as I read 1 Kings Chapters 1-4 in bed. Before I opened the Bible I simply prayed for protection, focus, and the ability to hear/read what I need to. In chapter 3 verses 11-15 really touched me. I am redirecting my prayers from asking for what we want to asking for wisdom and understanding throughout our situation. It is so important to know clearly what we need to do before jumping in. Prayer, Prayer, Prayer! My morning prayers are now for listening, evening prayers are for sharing, and all of the prayers in between are sporadic. Ha!

It's Been a While

It has been almost three months since I have blogged. For those who actually read my blog I am so sorry.

July was wonderful. I hosted 4th of July, Bunco, and a family gathering at my house. I love hosting parties and events. My husband on the other hand hates the prep work, but enjoys all of the company. Matthew and I hung out...this was much needed! He has been working like crazy. We both feel too exhausted to do anything on the week nights, so we spent a few Saturdays just doing random things with each other (Bass Pro Shop, Outlet Mall, watching movies). I started back to work the last week of July.

August...busy! I have spent the last three years with the same group of students and I was nervous about getting a new bunch this year. I had nothing to be nervous about! The students I have are wonderful! The parents are very supportive and involved. I actually think my group was cloned just given different names. Ha! Ha!
This month has been incredible! School has been moving right along! Matthew and I have made big decisions regarding fertility. We recently visited Hill Crest Orchards and had a blast picking apples, taking a wagon ride, and enjoying the beautiful scenic route to north Georgia.

Prayers and Listening

Our weeks have been very busy and God was in all of it! Have HOPE, OBEY the Lord, be PATIENT, and you will be BLESSED. I spent several times just being quiet with the Lord and these key words continued to surface. I know this seems simple and should be obvious, but I have lost, the much needed, HOPE somewhere along our journey and the Lord was able to show me that during this week. I have felt lead to study Romans and Isaiah.

HOPE and PATIENCE:

Romans 5: 1-5

Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulations worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope: and hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

BLESSINGS AND OBEY:

Isaiah 66: 22-23

For as the new heavens and the new earth, which I will make, shall remain before me, saith the Lord, so shall your seed and your name remain. And it shall come to pass, that from one new moon to another, and from one sabbath to another, shall all flesh come to worship before me, saith the Lord.

This verse is constantly brought to my heart:

Isaiah 40:11 He shall feed his flock like shepards: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.
I am praying about it. I am not sure what the Lord wants me to do with it. Ha!

I am still praying about fasting. I have read a few different chapters in the Bible about it and I am praying for clear direction regarding it.

Though I have been spending more quiet time with the Lord, I am still working on actually being quiet and just listening. It is truly challenging because I feel like I have so much to pray about....I just have to keep telling myself He already knows everything on my heart. I think I am going to do my listening in the morning and my "listing" at night.

COHEN

What: Moment of Silence for Cohen

When: Thursday July 1st from midnight to 11:59 pm.

How: Bloggers participating will post the Cohen banner (below) or simply post Cohen’s name in large letters on their blog.

Why: July 1st Megan and Brent will be holding Cohen’s memorial service. The moment of silence is an opportunity for Megan’s blog community to stand behind her and support her on this difficult day. Linking up will give Megan a chance to see the support at a glance.

Participating bloggers can Link Up on July 1st at Send Love To Cohen. Will you join me and help spread the word?

Amazing Friendship!

I have been blessed so much during my life, but during the last few years God has blessed me with so many dear friends, both old and new. Over the last couple of months I have watched many of my friends cling dear to the Lord and His Word for one reason or another. I am so AMAZED how He is able to teach me, as well as, allow me to serve Him during these times.

Psalm 36:5-9

Listening

Many of you know that my husband and I have struggled with fertility for many years. We have several dear friends and family members that pray for us constantly and always let us know how much we mean to them. This alone helps us get through many of our tough times. We have taken a few steps backwards on our journey of conception over the past few months. We are trying to pray for God’s will and just listen.

Listening…if you know me, then you are aware of how difficult this is. I want to share, share, share nonstop with God and everyone!

Rewind a few months…

In February I attended an incredible women’s retreat with some friends from Bunco (Many of them attend Johnsons Ferry Baptist Church). This was such a wonderful experience for me. Christy Nockels was the worship leader and Jan Silvious was the guest speaker. I received an amazing amount of knowledge and peace from both of these women. They really let the Lord use them to server others. I will share more about these two in a future post. I want to share what I learned from Judy Mills’ A Personal Prayer Revolution small group session. Judy was so transparent and honest. It was really wonderful to listen (yes, I sat still and listened) to her thoughts and ideas regarding her intimate relationship with God through prayer. She explained a challenge that she had been given in the past to simply listen instead of talk during her prayer time. She shared the outcome of this challenge, as well as, the difficulty in the beginning of the challenge for herself and others in her Sunday school class. Several different things entered my mind during this session…Are you crazy? No, talking at all?; Wow!; How powerful!; Listening…what a concept!
I know this sounds crazy (or maybe some of you can relate), but when I talk to God I feel like a dump truck just unloading everything I possibly can. Yes, I am aware we are supposed to bring things to the Lord, but listening to Him is also necessary. Judy challenged us to try just listening to the Lord instead of talking for an entire week and record everything that possibly comes into our mind/hearts. I have not actually taken the weekly challenge, but I have stepped away from the “dump truck” prayer and given God more time to speak to me while I simply LISTEN.

During my prayer time I have been trying to give God the opportunity to speak to me while I just listen. A couple of things that have been brought to my attention are patience and fasting. Patience I am working very hard at. I have to say God is AMAZING! He has opened several doors for me that I haven’t asked for and I am just in awe of the outcomes. As for fasting, I would like to read more about it before taking that large step. Have any of you ever fasted or read any material regarding fasting?

I am beginning my drop everything and just LISTEN challenge tomorrow. I will let you know how it’s going in a week.

If you would like to take the challenge here are a few things that Judy mentioned:
· ask for protection before your prayer
· pray with thanks giving
· ask God to speak
· just listen
· journal what you “hear”